Oct 8, 20217 min read

13 Things that society wants you to do

Updated: Oct 18, 2021

Society- It feels like such a beautiful concept when you read about it in your social science class. I was personally mesmerized by this concept of thousands of people coming together and creating a set of norms for the smooth functioning of society without any chaos. Little did I know, as I grew up, that these so-called “Societal norms” are so unrealistic in today’s world that they would come back to bite me and ruin my mental wellbeing.

You can also check-out the audio version below.

Below are 13 things society wants you to do, that you no longer need/have to do.

Get settled/ married/ have kids by a certain age

I have heard this a million times by now and I’m only in my late 20s. Surprising right?

In a country with over 130 crore population, our society thinks and assumes that all of us need to be settled in life with a good job, that pays very well and have a happy marriage and be on the way to having children all by the age of 25.

Yup, that’s the realistic number our society has chosen for all. All this in a country that believes that the only way you can get a job is by doing engineering or taking up medical coz as per society those are the only two professions we have in the 21st century. Age is truly just a number. It is our thoughts and beliefs that prove our maturity and not our age.

Go to college, get the same degree that the majority of them are getting, follow and mimic everything they are doing to be successful.

As I previously said, for our society there are only a few degrees/professions that one can get into, in order to be successful.

They always have a success story of some far-off relative who happened to have settled in a particular profession and they set the societal norms for only those professions to be respectable and worth following.

If the majority of them were falling into a ditch, then that would be the next trending thing to follow.

Not question the gender roles defined by society

Where do I even begin with this, our societal norms are a thousand years old at least, and we have a majority of the society that is still being forced to follow these norms.

And questioning any of them is considered very un-sanskari or unethical, and even a heinous crime.

Be it the gender roles of women always being the caregivers and homemakers, men having to be the breadwinner of the family, men being non-emotional, women having to stick to specific rules of the society about raising their voice or being independent. There’s just no end to this gender bias.

Even in the 21st century when there’s so much awareness regarding this, we still have a majority of the society forcing these norms on us and expecting us to follow them without questioning them.

Make friends based on social status

It is forced upon us by society that certain groups of society need to be friends with a certain group in order to uphold this concept of “social status”. Friendships and relationships are something that cannot be forced upon anyone.

Being materialistic is the new cool

Buying things has become a sense of therapy for most people in our society. People often tend to ignore an underlying condition of depression and anxiety and treat it with shopping sprees.

Our society judges a person based on the type of car they own, the house they live in, the expensive things they own. This has become the means of measure of success in our society. It’s ok to buy things you like, but giving them so much priority is never good.

Things break, they have a shelf life, beyond which they cannot sustain. Give more importance to human connections and build relationships.

Follow all societal norms even if they are stupid and make no sense for you

There are thousands of these unspoken rules in our society that we are asked to blindly follow and many of us do follow them without ever thinking of questioning them. This is when society fails and it becomes more of robotic life.

There are no compulsions written anywhere in this world, that you have to follow these norms. Challenge these norms when they don’t make any sense to you.

Be financially ignorant

It has become a very cool thing to being ignorant about money, about how much you spend, how you spend or make money.

Showing a sense of interest in learning about money or making yourself financially educated is seen as an alien thing to do.

Society also labels you as being money-minded, when you have financial awareness. They even tend to blame you for being money-minded and remind you that money is not everything.

Money can’t buy happiness is one thing that our Insta gurus keep quoting. But being financially aware and being mindful of your earnings and spendings and how to grow your money and handle your own money has never hurt anyone. It gives you mental bliss and keeps you in a state of awareness, where you don’t have to constantly worry about money.

If this is considered being money-minded, then let society be. You’re better off without caring about what society thinks of you.

Being happy with the concept of living on the weekends

Most of us are in 9-5 jobs and as usual, these tend to spill over into our personal lives by transforming into 24/7 jobs.

A lot of you are spending the majority of your week in angst waiting for the weekend and waiting to live your life.

We tend to put off our personal aspects of life during workdays and try to get all our personal activities fueled on the weekends.

In a nutshell, we’re working like pigs for 5 or 6 days a week, in the hope to live and enjoy life for 1 or 2 days during the weekends. And this concept has been normalized so much by our society that no one even cares enough to challenge the situation and do something to change it.

Respect your elders by default

Respect is earned. It’s not something that one person is entitled to based on their age. Just because someone is older than you, doesn’t mean that they deserve your respect only because of their age. This is one norm that our society has been forcing upon us for ages.

Forcing us to be respectful of elders even when they don’t deserve it. Without understanding the person, understanding their values, one cannot respect a person as a given.

Just because Hitler is older to me by age doesn’t mean I have to respect him and his values right. Like that, everyone is entitled to their opinions, everyone is entitled to build those opinions.

Loaning money for college, house, cars

In a financially illiterate society, our society makes it, its job to get us into the financial trap of taking out loans.

Want to pursue higher education? take a loan. Want to get a good living space? get a loan to buy a house. Society has made it, its responsibility to make a common man fall into the trap of loans and debts.

Society defines these rules about, having a higher education being a necessity to get a good-paying job, having a good-looking house to hold up your status in the society and be respected by society. All our society is doing is, making us fall into the trap and be its slave.

Be scared

Our society is fueled by this. Our society literally runs on this. This is such an involuntary response that is inculcated into us by our society.

Our society expects us to be scared of it. Be scared of its opinions, be scared of being judged by society, be scared of not being able to fit into the societal norms, be scared of being outcasted by society.

Society wants you to be scared of it and do things exactly as it wants from you. Being scared is also considered a sign of respect, which is just foolish.

Hide your problems, emotions, depression, anxiety

This is a big no-no. You are considered weak and emotional if you show your problems to society. Society only wants to see a pretty picture and doesn’t really care even if you are dying inside with depression and anxiety.

Society only cares about your external appearance and how much you are sucking up to it and not about what’s going on within your mind space. Showing your emotions is considered an unwanted thing in society when in reality the actual function of society is to uplight the sense of belonging in an individual.

Judging people based on status

All of us have different financial capabilities and these mainly are a result of our own capabilities in making money. There’s an unspoken hierarchy in society with regards to an individual’s financial capabilities and you are respected and given importance based on this.

Even though you have no interest in participating in such a hierarchy, society doesn’t let you be, it always wants you to be part of it. Never judge people based on their societal status.

Status and money are the easiest and first things to fall when you don’t live up to the societal norms anymore.

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Thank you for taking out time to read our blog as part of Stensor- The Mind Chapter. Do remember this is coming from our experiences only. This is purely from our journey towards mental health and wellbeing. We are Architects by profession, with a design initiative part of Stensor-The Design Chapter, where we help our audience/clients design beautiful living spaces to enhance their lifestyle. If you’re looking to revamp your spaces, feel free to reach out to us via email at contact@stensor.in or Click Here to know more.